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Monday, April 4, 2011

Money DOESN'T Buy Happiness?

But all that stands between me and being able to bring the next addition to our family unit into the world in a way that I feel is beneficial to all parties involved, is money. Our "insurance" covers 1,500 dollars of a 4,000 dollar midwife fee, leaving 2,500 dollars floating over our heads. Even with an offer from the midwife to take 700 dollars off in exchange for home cooked meals and cleaning her house twice a month until the birth, that's 1,800 dollars.

Part of me knows how easy it would be to just go to an Obstetrician with my tail between my legs and relent to the c-section they've insisted is "necessary". But, that would be a huge blow to me. It would mean never knowing whether or not I could have done it. The elusive "virginal" my sister accidentally called it. So frustrating when all that stands between you and having what you know you want and need to do, is 1,800 dollars. Money doesn't buy happiness, and I know that whether or not we come up with this money, this baby will be born...but to have to give up the choice? The choice of letting my body do what it was designed to do, what millions upon millions of other women have been doing for centuries. Kind of puts a dull tinge over things.

Time to have a yard sale I guess. Bake sale anyone? I think I saw a quarter between the couch cushions the other day...